Celebull: Jim Parsons vs Sheldon Cooper

A smiling Sheldon Cooper. He knows what he did.

This is an extremely sad tale. One of a man who has lost his way. A man who, before entering any household he has the compulsion to knock the door three times and utter the word 'Penny' in between each rap. His face reads of a deep trauma, which cannot be seen when appearing in the hit comedy, The Big Bang Theory.

Having to study intensely in order to uphold the part with the truest integrity, Jim Parsons has lost his long-standing battle with his fictitious TV alter-ego Sheldon Cooper. Perfectionist Parsons recently told loved ones that he was being overcome. Through his protrayal of the enigmatic Sheldon Cooper, Parsons inevitably commited the act of menticide.

In a last bid effort to thwart his hydra, he attempted to drown himself in his own tears, believing that if he survived, the streaks of mortality found in his lachrymose form held a cleansing power. Unfortunately, highlighting his desparation only made Sheldon stronger.

R.I.P. Jay Parsons. Long live Sheldon Cooper.